Thursday, October 7, 2010

I Hated Life


For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil” (I Peter 3:10).
Once I suffered a bout of depression, anxiety, and self-pity.  Soon, however, I got sick of the constant gnawing of unhappiness. It got so bad I hated life. I remember dreading every morning.
At first I was afraid I was going to die; then I wished I had. Every dream had been smothered. Every plan had hit the fan. I could not make sense of my mess and I wanted out. Because I let my tongue speak evil, my heart gave up on life. Like the writer who only focused on vanity and meaninglessness, I could say, “I hated life” (Ecclesiastes 2:17).
Oppression and fear can choke a person until life becomes misery. Disappointment will weigh your soul down until you cannot sing again. In the midst of my spiritual battle, I cried out to God, “How do I love life again?” Of course, I had assumed He misunderstood my situation.  I had a right to be upset because of this person, that checkbook balance, this economy, those politicians, them in-laws, and so on. 
The Lord reminded me to “love life” and “see good days” I must keep my “tongue from evil.”  To my amazement, I found out that God knew what He was talking about. I began watching what I was saying.  I had really let things get to me and had started talking smack.  So, I gave the scripture a try. 
I said, “Good morning, God,” instead of “Good God, it’s morning.”  Even though I could not see one thing to be happy about, I promised God I would stop talking about the bad stuff. Even though my relationship with the Lord had become dry and dead, I vowed to give this passage a try. My prayers changed from being a laundry list of problems, to being praise to God for His greatness.
Now I do not just endure life; I love it. Every sunrise is mine. Every meal is divine. Every day is an adventure. When the devil tries to lure me back into the prison of despondency, I just talk about whatever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report.
Life is in the power of your tongue.

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